Are You Dressing Like A Clown?

If you look through the fashion trends of the past decades, you'll notice that much of the clothing we remember from those periods have all but disappeared today.  They were loud, and the trends left as soon as they came.

Loud fashion is still around today, but is usually worn by teeny-boppers.  Retailers targeting this market know this well and frequently change up what they have to offer in their stores.  Go visit a mall and you'll know what I'm talking about.  Go to the back and take a look at their full sale racks.  The prices are steeply discounted from the original because the styles have become old.

If you're over twenty years old, on a budget, or just want a timeless wardrobe you don't want to change so often, then this article is relevant for you.

Men's Fashion Trends That Will Fade Fast

1. Jeans With Too Much Faux-Damage - false paint splatters, rips, holes, and oil stains.  I avoid the paint splatters in general, and I do have oil-stained from actually wearing them to work on my car.  I also have old, ripped jeans from just wearing them too much.  They actually, have a natural worn tear that looks great that retailers have difficulty duplicating.  Holes are easier to duplicate, but look like bullet or moth holes.  I don't wear these types of jeans to clubs though, and many have rules against them. 

High contrast wash jeans - dark jeans with a heavily bleached area usually around the thigh section won't be around long. 

2. Visible "In" Items. That is, anything that stands out that many guys in your age group are wearing.  For example, argyle sweater-vests were really popular with guys this past winter, but if you wore it, you'd look pretty generic, even if your diamonds were french green and bright yellow.  They don't look that bad - just common.

Sweater vests, by the way are not  recommended club clothing especially for dance clubs.  They're better suited for dance-floor-free lounges and dates.  And, just like any "it" item, they'll put a strain on your wallet if you're on a budget.

Right now, heavily gothic Affliction t-shirts are popular.  I think most of the graphics are OK, but the branding is not necessary.  They're just really common and will saturate into the male population.  As cool as they look on the website, they don't stand out that much in a club compared to a collared equivalent.

3. Excessive Neon.  I know the eighties made a mild comeback in skate and snowboard wear, but even the comebacks won't last long.  Limit the amount of neon and save the full-on neon for the crosswalk guards.

4. Excessive Colors.  Anything with large colored areas should be avoided.  Think of the big stop sign jackets from the 90's or one-piece ski wear from the 80's.  Colorfulness on a t-shirt graphic is OK, but use discretion.  I'm not condoning Looney Tunes graphics here.  Also use discretion on a colorful patterns.  They do OK on t-shirts, but generally don't fare so well on button up shirts.  Avoid tie-dye at all costs.

5. Graphics Or Writing On Pants.  It's seen writing and graphics on pants tried over and over again, but just like damaged jeans mentioned above, too much going on in the pants never fly well, just like the heavily torn jeans from the 90's.  It's never stood the test of time.  Remember the Stars and Stripes pants worn by the karate instructor in Napoleon Dynamite? (OK, that's an extreme example)

6. Brands or Logos.  We're moving into an era where corporate slavery is unappealing.  Heavily-branded Tommy logo and Nike swoosh clothing lost their appeal in the late 90's, and more recently, Ecko Unlimited is waning.  Fubu's toning down the branding, and in time, so will Sean John and Affliction.  Paul Frank had more staying power by using a cute monkey in his signature wear, though I'm seeing it around less these days. 

As a side note, under no circumstances should you ever tattoo yourself with a corporate logo.

7. Anything Oversized.  Big, baggy jeans and long, sagging shirts won't get you into many clubs.  We wore them as teenagers as a phase, and now it only belongs as a conversation banter on who had the cheesiest streetwear.  Even current urban clothing is club-friendly by not going overboard on the bagginess.

8. Pink (depends).  Pink is here to stay, but how you wear it important.  Avoid fuscia (hot pink) - it's loud like neon.  If you want to pull off pink, don't overdo it, wear light pink, and occasionally complement it with some manly darks.  Also, keep the shirt simple - avoid too many patterns, gothic writing, and pockets.

The Exception to the Rules

Accessories.  Louder than average accessories are OK.  White or graffiti style belts, pin-striped fedora hats, studded wristbands, a sharp red skinny tie, organic jewelry, etc.  They show a wild side to you without making you flamboyant or showcasing you as an attention-needy egomaniac.

Peacocking.  A term coined in the popular but somewhat over-glamorized book "The Game".  Occasionally you might want to dress real loud to a club to bring a party or get conversation going with people fast (assuming you get in).  Don't build a wardrobe full of loud clothes.  It's not necessary.  If you're always going loud for the attention-getting ego-boost, stop, because it's affecting your confidence.  If you're going loud because you want to push your style limit a little further, to create a party mood, doing it for a comfort challenge, or it's simply you, then more power to you.

High Fashion.  I see a lot of funky fashion coming out of Japan, in eclectic stores, and in some designer stores.  You'll see these styles more if you live in a fairly large city and wander in your local gay neighborhood.  High fashion is usually more of a problem for women, but if you really like some items that break the above rules, just don't let it invade more than 10% of your wardrobe.